| Monday, August 4th 1997 Subject: Help Me with My Road Rage!
This is one of the first times that I am actually using the Internet...I had just read
the article in the "USA Weekend" regarding road rage...I know that I am a
serious offender and I would like to know where I can turn for help...I am from NJ and if
you have ever driven here, it is not fun. Along the major Interstates where the speed
limit is 55 MPH, Vehicles are traveling an average of 75 to 90 MPH in the left lane,
including myself. Then as soon as someone begins tailgaiting me, I start tapping my brakes
heavily, make obscene gestures, swear, and I have even tried to cut them off (not bad,
just enough for them to know I am pissed off. I am constantly swearing at other drivers,
and now it has gotten to the point where my wife dreads getting in the car w/ me. I know
one cause off my "road rage" is constantly getting a late start in the morning,
thus making me rush on the highway when I know there is no reason for it...I would like
somewhere to turn..I am willing to attend classes or whatever it may take, before
something serious happens....please respond back
Hi, Robert,
I'm so sorry that I only received your message today--looks like you e-mailed it weeks
ago...I don't understand how that could happen. At any rate, you have already taken the
most important step of the Three-Step Program I recommend on Dr. Driving's Site. I trust
you can get back there to read it. You can print it out, if it helps to remind you. The
first step is to acknowledge, as you have, that your emotions behind the wheel are out of
control and that this is not good.
The second step, if you really mean it, is "W" which stands for Witnessing
yourself, or Self-Witnessing. Get yourself a tape recorder, turn it on when you drive and
just let it sit there. Now just speak your thoughts out loud freely, but be sure not too
loud so other drivers cannot hear you. Don't make gestures, just say you want to, when you
get the urge. Now you and your wife can listen to the tapes. This is called
self-witnessing. It's very important for you to see yourself objectively, that is, as
others see you.
Now the third or "M" is Modify your habits one step at a time. Pick one
thing, one small thing, like you said, "I start tapping my brakes" and work on
it alone during one trip. See if you can prevent yourself from doing it when you feel like
it. This little victory will bring you the next and the next and the next. Soon you'll be
a changed man, a supportive driver instead of an aggressive one.
You can additionally form and lead a Quality Driving Circle, as explained on Dr.
Driving's Site. You can become a "reformed driver" and be a leader in your
community. And especially, you can designate your wife as your "driving buddy"
or coach, and let her tell what she notices and what she thinks you should do about it.
Then think and consider whether you should indeed follow her advice. And be sure you don't
yell at her. And be sure to thank her.
Let me know how it's going. Keep us posted.
Dr. Driving
Thursday, Oct. 9th 1997
Subject: WHERE TO GET HELP?
My boyfriend drives a delivery truck in downtown San Francisco every day, and we travel
often on weekends in the car on the freeways - needless to say - HE IS MR. "ROAD
RAGE" himself. He is 34 and has been a driver for about 4 years. My question is -
where can he go for help? Will his company pay for some sort of therapy or program to calm
him down? I read all of the statistics on road rage, and how to avoid drivers with the
rage, but where can a road rager go to get under control, it is ridiculous how upset he
gets at every single little thing in the car!! Let me know where I can reach some contacts
in our area. Thank you. - Lori.
Friday, July 11th 1997
Subject: Helping Suggestions
Dear Dr. Driving:
I was spending some time today reading stories on Road Rage. I learned a lot. It's good
to feel that I am not alone in my feelings. Reading all of the information was really good
and healing. I am kind of wondering, short of writing my congress person, building a
website, making bumper stickers, I wonder what I can do to help make the roads a safer
place. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Warmly, Jason
Hi, Jason,
Bumber stickers can be very useful as reminders. I like people to remember to
* Drive with Aloha spirit
* Be a supportive driver
* Do a random act of kindness every few minutes!
Here is a list of my favorites, including radio spot announcements
Dr. Driving
Thursday, Sept. 18th 1997
Subject: A Reformed RoadRager
Dr. James,
I am in the process of writing a self-help book on road rage. Having
suffered from the highest level of the condition, I have more than once put my own wife
inches in harm's way. When she asked me to modify my behavior, I accused her of being on
"their" (the enemy drivers) side. I could not see myself for the evil monster
that I had become. Of course, this creature would only come out while in the car. My
condition became so bad, that I would have my wife drive while I lay in the back seat. I
felt as if I were in a war zone, overcome by powerful enemy forces. I experienced
simultaneous feelings of paranoia, anger, depression and stress while driving.
Occasionally, I would play the lottery in hopes of becoming a millionaire so that I would
never have to drive again. Needless to say, I was sick, if not deranged.
Even a horrible
accident could not save me from myself. I was unable to recognize my problem and begin
recovery until my evil side came lashing out at a young, innocent mother who almost cut me
off because she could not see me due to the blind spot. It was then, when I saw the
horrified look of fear in her eyes that I realized what I had become. I was absorbed in
guilt like I had never experienced in my life. That day, I began my recovery. My road rage
did not end over night. I had to develop a process to free myself from this curse. Over
time, I changed myself. Once again, I enjoy driving and have love and patience for other
people. Occasionally, I slip and become angry - but I catch myself and take corrective
action. I will never do to another what I did to that woman. Sure, worse things have
happened - people have murdered over road rage. Though, I am not capable of intentional
killings, my verbal violence was unacceptable and evil. Never again will I make another
human being feel as poorly as I made that woman feel. I will never forget her and
unfortunately, she will never forget me. I just wanted to share my experience with you
because I have a favor to ask of you.
Will you allow me to interview you for my book? I am
impressed with your work and dedication and I think that a few quotes and some ideas from
you might be beneficial to my readers. I would, with your permission, like to cite some of
your work, so that some of my readers can refer to you. You have mentioned some methods
that I have employed in my recovery. I have tried some other methods as well and perhaps I
could share them with you for your expert opinion. Road rage is serious and real. It is a
killer. I am so fortunate that I did not create a fatal accident and I want to help others
from doing so. My objective in my book is simple and clear - I want to share with others
how I recovered from road rage and fell back in love with driving. If I can help one
person and prevent one fatality - my laborious efforts were worth the time I put in.
Thank you for your time and thank you for helping others. I am confident that your work
has saved lives.
Friday, Aug. 8th 1997
Subject: Imagine it's your mother!
Dear Dr. Driving:
When I find myself behind someone driving slower than I'd like, or who seems to be
missing opportunities to merge into traffic, or someone cuts in front of me abruptly, I
try to imagine that in the car is a relative of mine. Either driving, or as passenger. My
Mom, in particular, is not a skilled driver, and so often I pretend to myself that it is
she who is driving the car. It's a lot easier to forgive her, and for me, it allows me to
see things from the other driver's perspective a bit more easily, and sometimes I get a
chuckle when I find out who it is my Mom looks like this time!
Hi Sylphide,
Thanks for telling me about your technique for emotional control behind the wheel. I
think it's very advanced and effective. I will share it with other readers.
Dr. Driving
Friday, Aug. 8th 1997
Subject: Road Rage Books
Please let me know if you have a book for sale on the topic of Road Rage.
Thanks.
Ilene
The book is forthcoming and will be available in a few months. I'll put the info on Dr.
Driving's Page as soon as I know... In the meantime you're welcome to use the variety of
materials on the Web site. As a social worker, you might like to read my article to the
Hawaii Mental Health Association about Road Rage:
Sunday, Sept. 21st 1997
Subject: Dr. Driving's Book
Please send information about your book price and how to order it or what bookstores I
might find it in. Thanks
Thanks for asking about our book. Please check Dr. Driving's Site in about 6 months for
definitive info on how to get it.
Sunday, Aug 31st 1997
Subject: Bad Driving for Movie Ratings?
Dr. Driving wrote:
Let's be specific: what I mean by "bad driving" or "aggressive
driving" is the portrayal of stunts and dangerous situations that aren't real, but to
children, it looks real and weakens their resolve to be good drivers.
I, for one, wish to do *nothing* which would have the effect of reducing. The World to
the level of comprehension exhibited by children.
DD
Tuesday, Sep 2nd 1997
Subject: A Topic for Psychology
Hello:
For the last few years I have been fascinated with what has now been coined "road
rage." I am a bicyclists and without knowing am probably the focus of many a rageful
driver. I am very interested in the personality differences acquired when a person goes
inside of a car. They change, they aren't as responsible for their actions. I begin to
wonder if it isn't something to be investigated by both
psychologists and sociologists.
Please keep me informed of any new information on this topic. I work for a university
press.
Sincerely, Julia
Tuesday, Sep 2nd 1997
Subject: Finding Dr. Driving
I was curious to find something interesting on WWW. This site was found as a by product
of my search for other topics related to medical informatics. Your idea is very important
to me and to my expectations how the Internet might be used for education and improvement
of human mind. I am very pleased to introduce your site. My intention is to keep an eye on
you in the future. Go on and good luck to you and your students.
Well, Hi, there, DRASKO,
Thanks for your interest. My son Rex is in Medical informatics related research. You
can go see his proposals at his Web site. Come back for more visits!
Leon James
Sunday, Sep 7th 1997
Subject: USA Weekend
Has anyone else on this list noticed the article about road rage in today's issue of
USA Weekend? It quotes Dr. Leon James several times and even gives information on finding
him on the Internet. (For anyone new to the list, Leon is a regular participant.)
Congratulations, Leon!
Thanks Jill,
the address of the USA Weekend article is this:
http://www.usaweekend.com/97_issues/970907/970907road_rage.html
Tuesday, Sep. 9th 1997
Subject: Re: USA Weekend
Donna wrote: Help Fight Road Rage -- RoadPeace is a nonprofit movement begun by a
California woman in early 1996 to promote kindness and nonagression on the roadways.....
Hi--
Thanks Donna and Leon; road rage has become a big topic in the Bay area recently. Your
contributions to help us individually handle our driving experience better are
appreciated. I will contact Roadpeace and implement Dr. Driving's advice. BUT pedestrians,
bicyclists and motorcyclists need to become more collaborative, as well.
Best regards, Virginia
Monday, Sep. 8th 1997
Subject: RoadPeace
RoadPeace is a nonprofit movement begun by a California woman in early 1996 to promote
kindness and nonagression on the roadways. The website includes the movement's history,
suggestions to drivers for keeping cool in the face of rising highway hostility, and
instructions for receiving a RoadPeace kit-- pledge card, driving tips, and windshield
stickers which show your commitment to the cause: http://www.sonic.net/ladyann
Dan, thanks for the RoadPeace tip! It's a good grass roots example of how people are
beginning to react against the culture of aggressive driving.
Leon
Hello Ann,
RoadPeace is a wonderful idea. Congratulations! I ordered the kit today. I'm going to
put a link to your Page on my Site. Go visit. As Dr. Driving on the Internet, and author
of a book called Road Rage, I have come to similar conclusions as you have,
namely, that we need to pledge ourselves to becoming "supportive drivers" and to
un-learn the culturally transmitted attitude of disrespect for others behind the wheel.
Dr. Driving
For Dr. Driving's Readers: I'm quoting here the RoadPeace Pledge:
The RoadPeace Pledge
I'm tired of the roadway as battlefield. From now on:
1. I acknowledge that we're all in this together, cars are here to stay, and we need to
make peace with each other while driving.
2. I'll drive gently, without anger, and actually obey the laws I learned back when I
got my license.
3. I'll leave generous amounts of room between my car and the car ahead because in
driving, as in loving, there should be lots of spaces in our togetherness.
4. I'll not care when other cars pass me, remembering that driving isn't a race
--ultimately, it's away for us to get home.
5. I won't rubberneck, ever, acknowledging that if my life is so boring that I am
entertained by fender-benders or other motorists being ticketed, then I need to
re-evaluate more than just my driving skills.
6. I'll never speed up to block other cars, instead graciously making room for those
who need on the freeway or into the lane I'm in.
7. The only hand gesture I'll ever use while driving is to wave to say 'thanks.' And no
cheating: I'll remember that a RoadPeace salute always uses all five fingers.
8. I'll stick to the slow lane while driving the speed limit, recognizing that some
people will exceed the speed limit and will want access to the faster lanes, and it's not
my job to prevent them from breaking the law, no matter how justifiably self-righteous I
may feel.
9. I'll be patient with slower, less confident, less skilled drivers, remembering they
may be lost or from out-of-town, and that there have been times when I, too, have driven
cluelessly when in unfamiliar territory.
10. I'll remember we're not at war with two-wheelers [bicyclists/motorcyclists] and
no-wheelers [pedestrians], and will practice RoadPeace with them as well.
Wednesday, Sep.10th 1997
Subject: RoadPeace Continued
Dear Professor James:
Thank you so much for your note. I will definitely cruise over to your site. It
heartens me to know that others are working for the cause of RoadPeace as well.
I was interviewed by the San Francisco Examiner yesterday -- they are going to do a
story on RoadPeace. This is very good news because, while I've had press coverage here in
the North Bay before, this is the first major S.F. newspaper to show an interest. If you
have easy access to the Examiner there in Hawaii, you might want to watch for the article.
I imagine it will come out sometime between this Friday and next.
If I can assist you in any way with your book or any of your Dr. Driving projects,
please don't hesitate to drop me another e-mail.
Wishing you peaceful encounters,
Ann
Friday, Sept.12th 1997
Subject: Re: RoadPeace Continued
Hello again --
I wanted to let you know that I dropped in on your website as you requested. It's quite
beautifully done; I was very impressed. In addition to being aesthetically pleasing, it
is, of course, extremely informative. In fact, I didn't have time to explore every corner
of it. Like the Exhibit Hall of our county fair, full exploration and appreciation of your
site requires several visits. :-)
Peaceful journeys, Ann
Sunday, Sep. 7th 1997
Subject: Crazy People, Drinking, & Guns
Dr. Driving,
It is not a surprise to me that there is more road rage than ever before-there are more
crazy people in this county than ever before. It seems to me that each driver takes
his/her own personality into that car, truck or van. If you have an aggressive
personality, you will take that personality behind the wheel with you.
It is so evident to me that so many people have so little regard for others. This is
manifested by those who pull out in front of other. Then they turn left on you right after
that. (This action particularly irks me.) We have to remember that these same people show
similar disregard when they are not behind the wheel by their other reactions to people.
There are examples upon examples of vehicular behavior consistent with anti-social
behavior. Jerks are jerks- behind the wheel or otherwise.
Dr. Driving, I am also irked at legislators who want to consider those not yet 21 to be
legally drunk if they have a blood alcohol level of .02. We should probably charge them
with underage consumption, but they are not drunk. We are making criminals out of a lot of
good kids. Dr., I could continue to pour it out, but I am even sure this E-MAIL will be
successfully sent, then I wasted a bunch of time I could have spent doing something else.
I teach my kids not to make eye contact with many drivers, especially of old and dirty
cars (we are a reflection of our cars you know). People are poor and dirty for a reason.
They do have choices. I also tell them never to cuss or give the "finger". If
things get much worse, I may have to resort to carrying a gun with me. Thanks for hearing
me out.
From middle America, I am,
Ben
Ben, thanks for writing. I hear your complaints--about drivers with aggressive
personalities, about inconsiderate drivers, and those who don't care about what their car
looks like. I also appreciate that you're teaching your children good highway behavior.
However, Ben, I think it would be a very bad idea, repeat: very bad idea, to carry a
gun in the car because of your frustrations with these problems. You too have a choice!
And what are your children going to learn from this? That road rage violence should be
fought with violence? No. Think of the people now in jail because they used the gun they
had in the car when in the grips of road rage, even though they did not intend to use it
in that way!
Take care and use the various exercises I recommend for re-training your emotions so
that you don't become a victim of road rage yourself. Please read the various help files I
have for drivers and let me know how it's going. For the sake of your children, the
beloved country, and God DON'T carry a gun in the car!
Dr. Driving
Monday, Sep. 8th 1997
Subject: Interesting Article
Leon, as per a previous e-mail from you, I added a link to your site from our links
page. Here is an opinion piece I found while doing some searching. It certainly captures
some of my thoughts about NHTSA and IIHS.
http://www.jacksonvilledailynews.com/stories/082297/f226.html
Concocting a crisis on America's roads with disturbing frequency, the agenda-driven
National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is guilty of reckless counting. Pushing a
national .08 drunk-driving standard (already established inNorth Carolina), NHTSA includes
as "drinking-related" deaths those in which looped pedestrians stagger in front
of judge-sober drivers. Bewailing speed-limit autonomy for the states, NHTSA predicted
6,400 more highway deaths in 1996; there were 109 more, while fatalities per highway mile
traveled actually declined. Tanked up on hyperbole, the administration is at it again.
Addressing the hot topic of "road rage," NHTSA chief Ricardo Martinez alleges
that "about two-thirds of fatalities can be attributed to ... aggressive
driving."
Martinez arrived at this astounding percentage by an old NHTSA tactic: overdefining. In
NHTSA's view, aggressive driving includes "speeding," an offense for which 95
percent of the motoring public could be fined. (Troopers usually allow drivers a little
leeway over posted speed limits.) Ergo, to cut highway carnage, states should adopt a
"zero tolerance" policy toward speeding, deploying photo radar and other exotica
against the bloke who does 68 in a 65. But as the Wisconsin-based National Motorists
Association notes, this is so much Beltway blather. In fact, "road rage" --
infuriated drivers actually trying to hurt others -- causes only about 40 of the 40,000
annual highway deaths. To concoct a crisis, NHTSA must talk about aggressive driving,
including not only "technical" speeding but even scowling or flashing your
brights in annoyance.
Heaven, to many NHTSA types, would be a return to the long creep of a 55-mph national
speed limit. But speed alone has little connection to highway death rates, which are the
same on U.S. interstates and the German autobahn, 69 percent of which has no speed limit.
However, what the German police won't abide is a sluggard blocking the passing lane --
which, in this land, causes most of the tailgating, light-flashing, passing on the right
and other "aggressive driving." Enforcing simple lane discipline would go a long
way toward safer roads. Alas, something tells us NHTSA will be the last to understand.
Michael
Hi Michael! Thanks for sending the article about the overextention of the use of what
is to be considered aggressive. I agree there is a big issue here and I myself have been
criticized by some for including too much under "road rage" and for not doing
enough on behalf of good, competent drivers who drive assertively, which they feel is
perfectly all right were it not for the bad drivers who are in the way--and why don't I
concentrate on them. I see a point here, but I think it has to be an overall community or
society effort. I really enjoy your extremely useful and competent Site! Thanks for adding
Dr. Driving to your links. I will be assigning some homework for my traffic psychology
students involving your site and its content. Thanks and take care. Drive with Aloha
spirit!
Monday, Sep. 8th 1997
Subject: BrainstickerTMs
Hello: We would like to offer another resource for drivers to help combat the agressive
urges. We have a clear static cling vinyl card, SublimTM , imprinted with three sizes of
an affirmation, we call BrainstickerTM s. "You stick them in your brain, not on
it!"
Designed for statically posting on mirrors, windows, computer monitors, and automobile
windshields (inside at the top in the tinted area). Just like those oil change reminders,
these stickers remind one to "Say something positive to yourself! Everyday!"
I use "I AM RELAXED & CALM." Thanks, Ed:
http://www.affirmation.co
Hi Thomas,
Several reports that summarize my views on road rage can be found here. It leads to
other useful links on road rage. Good luck with your paper!
Dr. Driving
Tuesday, Sep. 9th 1997
Subject: Universal Courtesy Hand Signal For Motorists
Dear Dr. Driving,
I have developed, trademarked and copyrighted the UNIVERSAL COURTESY HAND SIGNAL FOR
MOTORISTS which is designed to promote harmony among drivers on the road - thereby
preventing the so - called road rage.
The UNIVERSAL COURTESY HAND SIGNAL is a safe and simple gesture of expressing courtesy
(such as making apology to another driver who may have been unintentionally offended,
requesting for the right of way or for simply expressing thank you to a fellow driver) in
a sincere and dignified manner.
I believe that one reason for the prevalence of road rage is that we do not have a
universally accepted way of expressing courtesy on the road. As such, misunderstandings
always occur for traffic offenses that are most often unintentional. Before one can
express a gesture of apology, the other had already flashed the "middle finger".
This is what the UNIVERSAL COURTESY HAND SIGNAL intends to address.
In my own limited way, I printed this SIGNAL with a LOGO in a car sticker and made it
available for the public at the 11th Invention Convention last August 29 to Sept. 1 in
Pasadena, California. I run out of stickers because the public gobbled them all up. I hope
it was not because I left the stickers on a table for free.
At any rate, I would appreciate if you can help me promote this HAND SIGNAL. I would
welcome any collaboration that you may be interested with. You can call me or Email me.
Thank you very much and more power.
PYKE
Saturday, Nov. 9th 1996
Subject: Use of Turn Indicators
As I have not yet learned to read minds, I have difficulty in anticipating the actions
of other drivers. Especially when they do not use their turn indicators. Is there a
medication or training program available that will cause drivers to signal lane changes
and turns? If so, do you think it would be ethical to administer this drug or training to
the driving public without their knowledge?
As an experienced traveler (I drive 40,000 miles per year) I have learned to anticipate
lane changes through head movement. When I see a driver look over their shoulder, it
usually indicates they will soon change lanes. As to the direction of the lane change, I
can't tell. Sometimes when the driver looks over their left shoulder, they move to the
right! How do you interpret this behavior?
Wanting to force other drivers on the road to change their behavior is not a good idea,
in my opinion. You can only change your own behavior. In this case, you're already alert
to these unpredictable and unsafe drivers who fail to signal a lane change or turn. You're
doing the right thing, observing them closely to try to predict their behavior. All you
need to add is objectivity, so you don't take their behavior personally.
Your observation is similar to another error many drivers make when they make a right
turn: instead of turning within their lane, they swing wide, and partly cross over to the
left lane, becoming a hazard to those behind. Why do they do that? Perhaps they believe
they need to do this to avoid hitting the curb. I think these sensori-motor errors are bad
habits picked up while learning to drive and then never unlearned. It's obvious that
drivers need "continuing driver ed." We need to be motivated to improve and be
vigilant in catching ourselves making mistakes.
Hi there, Pyke!
Thanks for telling me about your hand signal gesture. I believe you are correct in
assuming that if there were such an official gesture, it would allow people to defuse some
emotional misunderstanding that might arise as a result of some unintended provocation. I
will help promote your idea by putting your message up on Dr. Driving's site where many
people might see it. If you send me a logo of it, I will put that up too.
Dr. Driving
Wednesday, Sep. 10th 1997
Subject: Safety Meeting
I was wondering if you have any videos on Road Rage for our quarterly safety meeting at
Zeneca Pharmaceuticals.
Thanks, Patty
Sorry Patricia, I don't know of any video tapes on road rage. An alternative for your
meeting might be some pages that you can print out from these files and share them with
your group as a handout. You canthen discuss how you might help one another with driving
improvement exercises. Here are the documents from which you can select some pages to hand
out:
* Self-witnessing Exercise
* Useful Slogans to Remember
* Background on Road Rage
Let me know what happens! Dr. Driving
Thursday, Nov. 21st 1996
Subject: Am I responsible for You?
Glenn wrote:
If everyone drove at the posted speed limit, we'd have safer roads and highways. There
are few things as annoying as driving in a 60 km/h zone at 65 km/h and getting passed by
every other car on the road.
Yes, we'd be safer. Try not getting annoyed when being passed. Right now you're
probably saying to yourself, "Oh, shoot, I feel like a slow poke as everyone else is
passing me. Why don't they drive the speed limit like me" (or whatever the actual
words in your own case). Instead, you can say to yourself, "Well they're all in a
hurry but I'm holding up the fort driving at a safe speed. I obey the law. I am good. I am
the good citizen." (or whatever way you want to put it).
The point is: You deserve praise not blame for driving sanely. If you repeat this to
yourself, you'll feel good and thus have positive benefits for your good actions. I wish
more drivers would have your desire for law and order, and respect for each other.
Something has to be done to change the current hostile atmosphere among drivers. It's a
national crisis!! Our national moral character is at stake. Hey, remember heaven and hell?
More Americans claim go to Church than any other people on this planet. That's all I need
to say...
Wednesday, Jan. 8th 1997
Subject: The Right To Be Angry
Geoff writes:
I'm wondering what you find so offensive or amazing about the idea that getting mad at
other drivers is being emotionally out of control.
What I find more than a little preposterous is the idea that > to be angry (at other
drivers or whomever) is necessarily to be emotionally out of control. Don't you feel that
anger is ever justified? Anger is just one of a range of emotions. Why should anyone deny
it to himself?
Leon, I get the impression that yours is the zeal of the convert; did you have some
sort of emotional problems involving anger at some point in your life? You remind me of
the recovering alcoholic who's become such a zealot that he equates any drinking at all
with alcohol abuse. Anger kills the body and injures the spirit. Not if you emerge
victorious, gnawing on your foe's skull, it doesn't.
Of course we have the "right" to FEEL or BE angry - it' perfectly natural and
understandable, and there is no need to deny that we feel angry or that the anger is
justified. The problem arises in the EXPRESSION of the anger. It may be legal to shout,
gesture, etc., but it's useful to ask yourself if YOU feel better or worse after doing so.
And do YOU drive better or worse after extending an angry-making situation by yelling,
tailgaiting, etc. And by you prolonging the situation and maintaining expressions of
anger, aren't you increasing the likelihood of eliciting anger from others and maybe
causing an accident?
It's probably impossible to prevent an angry feeling, but it's possible to prevent or
modify the expression of the feeling. If you believe that it's a good idea to try to
prevent accidents, how about trying to recognize angry feelings and trying to modify your
expression of those feelings so that the emotional level on the road is lowered? Even if
you aren't interested in the feelings of others, wouldn't it be pleasant to reduce the
time YOU spent being angry while driving? The possibly pleasant feeling of
"winning" an encounter on the road probably also involves anger and even terror.
There are enough angry-making situations in life that we have no control over; I'd like to
try reducing the time I spend angry and afraid in those situations where I have some
control - i.e. in my response to driving situations.
As for zeal, I have a zeal to live, and to get to a destination without pounding heart
and dry mouth, without being ashamed or angry at myself. And, I'm very interested in
reducing the injuries, deaths and great social and financial costs of traffic accidents.
No program will eliminate all accidents and unpleasant incidents, but anything that helps
us see our behavior objectively and encourages us to ACT more humanely is worth a try,
whether in driving or any other activity.
Ellen
Well put Ellen, and thanks for your cogent statement and analysis!
Subject: Expressions of Anger
I got your point, however the problem usually could have been avoided completly if the
object of anger was abiding by the laws. My point is that adressing the instigator of the
stress, and not the person that is experiencing the stress, is both easier and more
effective.
I'm not the problem. I obey every law, except for the only one enforced, and I've never
added to anyone elses stress. I think your New Age crap about smiling when someone runs a
stop sign almost killing you and your family, and getting mad at them makes me the
problem, and not them, is a crock. The problem isn't the attitudes, but the actions. I
control my actions. I don't take out anger on others on the road, so it doesn't matter if
I get mad. Others take out their stupidity on me, and that is the problem.
I'm equating the assertion that thoughts = actions and that bad thoughts should be
eliminated as New Age. All emotions can be healthy. All emotions can be safely and
productively expressed. The feeling of anger is not "bad" and your
generalization that all feelings of anger while driving are "bad" is what I
disagreee with.
Maturity does not equate to repressing feelings.
Wednesday, Jul. 23rd 1997
Subject: The left lane and other stuff
Dear Dr. Driving,
I've been reading your web pages and found a lot of good and helpful information.
Let me say first that road rage isn't my problem, I'm a 36 year old woman who's been
driving for 20 years, I rarely ever go beyond mentally complaining to myself about other
drivers. My problem is being victimized by the road rage of others.
I can tell you a very good reason that slower moving traffic *cannot* keep to the
right. Because of a left exit - the city I live in is FULL of them. I have found that if I
wait too long to get into the left lane when traffic is heavy, no one will let me in and I
miss my exit.
As for speed, what is a person to do? The last time I got a speeding ticket was in
1991, for going 67 in a 55 mph zone and it cost $121.00! I am a single mother with three
children and I simply cannot afford that kind of unnecessary expense. And surely 70 mph is
fast enough for anyone, high school physics tells us that anything more than this is not
safe. I really don't know why cities waste money on putting up speed limit signs and
hiring traffic officers to enforce them. Very few drivers in my area abide by them.
Another problem in my area is that people will not move out of the right lane to let
you enter the highway. My question is what to do in situations like these, how to keep
from enraging other drivers and still get where I'm going without a ticket and in one
piece.
Thank You, Boanne
Hi, Boanne,
I'm glad you shared your problems because many other drivers suffer from these and
possibly we can raise people's awareness of them by discussing them.
It seems to me that you're doing well, given the circumstances. Your situation is
unususal for most drivers since highway exits are normally on the right. Here in Honolulu,
there is a similar quirk on our H1 Highway: entrances to the highway occur just before
exits, instead of after. This causes a mixed lane in which some cars are exiting while
others are entering. Seems disorderly or illogical. And dangerous! Certainly it increases
stress--unless drivers use Aloha spirit to support one another instead of compete. Then
there's no problem.
In your case, perhaps you can start a small group called Quality Driving Circle with a
few of your friends or neighbors, meeting once or twice a month, and discussing driving
issues, with the intent of giving one another support and sharing exercises and
observations. For an example of some of the exercises and procedures, consult these two
reports:
here and
here
Take care and let me know how it's going in a few weeks!
Dr. Driving
Friday, Nov. 22nd 1996
Subject: Slow cars in the Fast Lane
I don't appreciate it when I'm being blocked so I try not to impede anyone's progress.
Special mention must go to those who purposely speed up to close up that HUGE gap in front
of them to deny a faster vehicle, that has to be the most idiotic maneuver... What's with
the no-one-gets-in-front-of-me attitude? Look ahead, there are millions of cars in front
of you already!
Son
I'm in agreement with your sentiment. For years I've been studying this phenomenon
about drivers. Starting with myself (that's the "self-witnessing" method), I
observed that I have an automatic impulse to close ranks (eliminate the gap) when another
car looks like wanting to come into my lane. Why? Why? I certainly dislike this impulse.
And other observers who used the self-witnessing method have confirmed this tendency.
After some analysis, I realized that the situation contains an inherent conflict, a
conflict of interest, one might say. On the one hand, I want to be nice and socially
responsible and helpful -- which makes me want to let the car in. On the other hand, I
want to selfishly protect the flow in my lane so it doesn't slow down. I figure, it's
either them being late or me. Tough luck whoever gets it. Oh but I hate this. I don't like
to be this type of person. So most of the time nowadays (unlike before), I get a good
feeling out of helping other drivers get what they want! I let them in (especially when my
wife rides with me -- she's a perfect driver as far as I'm concerned because she doesn't
get mad and doesn't get others mad).
Thursday, July 24th 1997
Subject: CPSAN Tesitmony
Prof:
I enjoyed your testimony on CSPAN on the 17th and I applaud your use of the internet in
your research on traffic psychology.
Your comment that traffic education should begin in grade school piqued my interest. As
you probably know, driver education emerged out of safety education which was itself a
response to the slaughter of the automobile. Children were put in toy cars and drove
around mock cities to teach them good, safe, road behavior.
Your suggestion precisely echoed the calls of Progressive-era psychologists,
psychiatrists, and educators that a better society could be built by teaching young people
the proper attitude to take in traffic. You might be interested in the following people
and books, if you haven't come across them already:
Lowell Sinn Selling who has many articles in journals such as
Psychosomatic Medicine in
the 1930s. He was a forensic psychiatrist who emerged in the age of eugenics.
Albert W. Whitney, who wrote Man & the Motor Car, the first driver education
textbook in 1936. He created the Bureau of casualty and surety underwriters which funded
safety research in the 30s. See, for example, a study by Ruth Streitz on safety in grade
school.
Finally, J.P. Rothe, Beyond traffic safety (and many more)
There's loads more where that came from, if you're interested. I have just completed a
study of the history of traffic safety from 1925 to 1965. I look at efforts to control
driver behavior rather than efforts to make safer vehicles.
One thought crossed my mind when I thought over the hearings. If indeed road rage
accounted for 28,000 lives last year, and if improved "crashability" in vehicle
design has saved lives, why not have the government mandate changes in vehicle design
which would increase the sociability of the highway? I look forward to hearing from you,
Daniel
Hi, Dan, thanks for telling me about the books on safety. I shall look them up. I would
be interested in seeing your historical review on safety, if it's available. Tell me more
about your ideas on "vehicle design which would increase the sociability of the
highway."
I think this sounds like a good thing. For instance, tinted glass in cars reduces
visibility of the driver's face, hence makes it difficult or impossible to determine if
the driver is looking at you, noticing you, communicating with you, etc.
One idea I support is to develop better gestural communication such as "I'm
sorry" or "Can you let me in now?" or "Have a nice day." and so
on. Another suggestion: a light display system like the third brake light, but green
instead of red, that the driver can control with pre-set messages.
Leon
Monday, July 28th 1997
Subject: CSPAN Testimony Continued
The dissertation will be available shortly on UMI. An abstract is on my home page. It's
a pretty lame home page these days, but i'll be working on it next month.
On sociable designs, your suggestion for a lighted message system is good. I saw a
short article in an issue of Popular Mechanics in 1939, I believe, for a light which would
let a following car know when it was safe to pass. It worked like a turn signal.
We have a CB in our car and when we're on the highway we listen to the truckers chat
with one another, and ask each other to move over so they can get in, or pass, etc. I
would think a low-powered radio system would make life better, but I think a lot of people
want to be alone. It just seems to me that when I was a kid in the 1970s and the CB fad
hit, the road was a friendlier place.
What scared me at the testimony (not yours) was the call for an increased police
presence and a crackdown on "aggressive driving." Aggressive driving, according
to some of the definitions being used, includes behaviors 90% of the population engages in
every time they drive. I'm not saying we should just surrender the road to anger and
violence, but my attitude is that there is something wrong with the transportation system
if it causes (or encourages) otherwise sane individuals to act like road ragers. Moreover,
the police surveillance that developed in the early days of the automobile has never been
only about traffic safety. It has been an opportunity for the cops to watch the population
in an environment where civil rights are curtailed because of the inherent safety problem
of driving. The recent complaint of the NAACP about Md. cops on I-95 is just one example
of this. A scarier example took place during the Montgomery Bus boycott. When the
African-American community took to car-pooling in lieu of riding the bus, city police
simply harassed them using the traffic laws.
Dan
Monday, July 21st 1997
Subject: Written Testimony
Dear dr. James:
I was witness to your
testimony of last week before the house sub-committee on surface
transportation. Since you were limited to five minutes, i expect
that you submitted written testimony that was much more detailed. I
was told by the staff person on the sub-committee that it could take
three months or more to gain access to the written testimony.
I was struck by your comments that suggested that our attempt to
teach people how to driver a motor vehicle today almost always
placed emphasis on the least important components; that is the
mechanical means of operating a vehicle. It seems to me, as you
emphasised, that the important components of driver education should
be centered around behavior engagement in reality situations, where
choices have consequences. And where the student can participate in
the learning process in a real time circumstance. Presently, our
association is engaged in developing a driver education program that
is engaging, creates reality, challanges students and is actually
"fun" for the participant. In the near future we would be happy to
share these program ideas with you for your consideration and
comment. Indeed, the state of educating novice drivers, as being
practiced today is shameful. The badly outdated 30 hours of video
viewing and 6 hours behind the wheel training is directly reflected
in the death and injury stats of younger driver every year. It is
also disheartening to have the insurance institute and nhtsa sing
the same sad, out of tune song, from the same old book, that there
is no conclusive evidence that there is any connection between
crashes, injuries and deaths and driver education. I would be
pleased to receive a copy of your testimony and any other
publication that you may wish to share with our association.
Cordially, robert
Friday, July 18th 1997
Subject: CSPAN Interview
Dear Dr.Driving:
I saw your presentation on CSPAN last night and was extremely pleased that finally the
desease of aggression and self centered-ness is being addressed and studied. Aggressive
driving is the most visible sign of the desease.
You will face many obstacles in your fight against aggression, and will most likely
come from those who profit from these wrongs, such as corporations and in pocket
politicians. To share, and equality, is not part of who Americans are. Americans are
aggression, and happily spread the desease throughout the world. In order to get Americans
to stop aggression and learn to share, we would have to address our social problems, and
the Republicans would not stand for it.
Perhaps your efforts in addressing aggression in driving will allow more to become
aware of problems caused by the desease in general, however; the root of the problem will
have to be revealed, the demon's name would be known to all, then America could fall from
it's weak foundation which is the desease.and learn to share, we would have to address our
social problems, and the
May the spirits guide you, and may you listen to them.
Robert
Thanks you, Robert, for the good wishes. I believe that aggressiveness is a universal
phenomenon, not just American. In fact, when you travel to most of the world and see how
people treat each other (e.g., husbands abusing wives, fathers abusing children, political
factions torturing each other, etc..), it's evident that aggressiveness is a human
condition, a plague to all cultures and ethnic groups. I believe that we all need to
reform and become more civilized, more humane with one another. Doing this on the highway
and streets is a good place to start the reform...
Dr. Driving
Monday, July 28th 1997
Subject: Driving Instructor's Opinion
I'm a driver training instructor in northern California and I just discovered your web
page. I think it's great and look forward to visiting it often. Thanks for all of the
helpful info.
Sunday, July 27th 1997
Subject: Collective Road Rage
In article 33d41d6f someone wrote:
What would you call the combined irritation and frustration of two million motorists,
caused by an inadequate metropolitan highway/expressway system? Would you call this
"Collective Road Rage"?
That's a very good term!! In my forthcoming book on ROAD RAGE: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
FOR DRIVERS I refer to it as "habitual road rage" and label it a social-cultural
habit we "inherit" from cultural norms that make it allowable for us to express
hostility and aggression against strangers who seem to wrong us in some way.
I'm aware of the deep frustration many drivers (millions) feel and the natural emotions
we have of trying to make ourselves feel better by expressing outrage against
"bad" drivers and "bad" politicians who allow this situation to go on,
or who protect the wrong party.
I'm also aware of the frustration some of you feel when you see Dr. Driving (me) talk
as if I'm defending the "bad" drivers and attacking those who feel they're
victims of such "bad" drivers. The point is that I'm coming to the rescue
(excuse the drama!) of all of us who feel victims of "bad" drivers and
"bad" politicians. And my message is: Yes, let's continue our democratic efforts
for change, BUT IN THE MEANTIME, we all can use some "inner power toolsTM " to
stop raging against these "bad" drivers and "bad" politicians.
Inner power toolsTM now available to all of us to reduce our negative experiences on
roads:
1. Witness your own aggressive driving style and question yourself on the philosophy
that allows you to continue.
2. Deliberately shrink your emotional territory--the things you care about enough to
get all upset, etc. The smart driver is a zen driver!
3. Accomodate and accept diversity of highway drivers and uses. Becausee it's
democratic, humane, charitable, tolerant, forgiving, kind, intelligent, smart!
4. Form small neighborhood groups called Quality Driving Circles or QDCs, and influence
others to be more aware drivers.
Leon James (aka Dr. Driving)
Sunday, Oct. 5th 1997
Subject: A Symptom of our Society
Dear "Dr. Driving,"
I am a rabbi preparing a sermon for our upcoming holiday of Yom Kippur--the Day of
Atonement (next Saturday, Oct. 10)--and I found your web page to be extrememly helpful. My
theme is that road rage is symptomatic of our society--we are less and less civil and
tolerant with each other. Some of your recommendations, (e.g., to act like a peacemaker)
fit beautifully with particular Jewish ethical principles that I want to
enumerate. I am
planning on using some of your material, and I will certainly give you the credit you are
due. Again, your material was quite helpful to me! Please let me know if you would like a
copy of the sermon when it is finished, and I'll be happy to e-mail it to you.
With appreciation, Rabbi Steven
Rabbi Steven, Thanks for your nice message. This will be a first for Dr. Driving--being
in a sermon! And yet I keep asking my traffic psychology students: "Is tailgating a
moral issue?" and after much discussion they see the point. But right after I ask,
"Is speeding a moral issue?" and few students see that. And so on. Every step
must be fought and won against the Yezer Harah. Yes, you see it too: road rage and
aggressive driving are symptoms of an absence of altruism and the spirit of community.
Yes, I would like to see the sermon, Thanks!
Shalom,
Leon James (AKA "Dr. Driving")
Tuesday, Aug. 5th 1997
Monday, Oct 13th 1997
Subject: The sin of Road Rage
Dear Dr. James (aka "Dr. Driving")
Thanks so much for your nice note. Are you, by chance, of the Judaic persuasion? Not
too many non-Jews know what the "Yezer Hara" is. Just wondering. Anyway, the
sermon is finished, and it is my honor and pleasure to give you a copy. Any thoughts or
reactions would be, of course, appreciated! Again,thanks for your permission to quote you
extensively, and more importantly,for your work on this very timely and important
topic!Here it is!!
Yom Kippur morning 5758
Road Rage and the Sin of being heavy-handed
There's a story about an Israeli cab driver who takes his car to the repair shop
because he was having trouble with his brakes. He tells the mechanic, "my brakes are
not working very well. Please fix the horn." I don't mean to pick on Israelis. It is
said in Boston that brakes are optional in that city. There's also a story that in the
early days of the automobile, in the early 1900s, there were only two cars in the whole
state of Kansas. And wouldn't you know? They crashed into each other. There are lots of
jokes about cars, but unfortunately, the way we behave in our automobiles today is no
joking matter. Have you seen the bumper sticker that says, "Don't honk, I'm
reloading"? This is not funny. We are seeing around the country, but especially here
in Southern California, more and more examples of less-than-civil social behavior on the
road. And people who you would never expect: good decent people sometimes seem to take on
a different persona when they get behind the wheel. It used to be that courtesy and good
manners were the basic rules of the road. If there was an accident, people politely
exchanged information and went their separate ways. Things are a little different today.
Today you are running a risk even to get out of your car to meet the other person. You cut
someone off inadvertently and then he gets ahead of you and tries to cut you off on
purpose. Or he might get in front of you and drives real slowly so that you get stuck at
the next traffic light. There's no telling what he may do. And it's even worse than that:
people are actually carrying weapons in their cars and are not afraid to use them if they
don't like how someone else is driving. I saw a piece on the news recently where one
person shot and killed another--for what? For taking the parking spot that he had his eye
one. Killed for a parking place; you've got to ask: what has this world come to? There is
a actually a name now to this growing phenomenon of shortened tempers and increased
impatience on our roads, streets, and freeways; it's called "Road Rage". The
author Andrew Shapiro, in his piece "I was Here First", says that the
"aggressive drivers' behavior has become a deadly problem on today's roadways."
He cites a 1995 study done by the Automobile Association of America, which analyzed over
10,000 police reports of traffic incidents, and concluded that "violent traffic
incidents have increased nearly 7 percent per year since 1990." They report that
"a total of 12,828 people were injured or killed (218 killed, 12,610 injured) as a
result of aggressive driving, including 94 children under the age of 15." Road rage
is putting us all at risk, and making the task of schlepping around more than a routine
and sometimes annoying part of life, but a downright hazard. I think it's important to
take a look at this for two reasons. One is that we spend some huge inordinate amount of
time behind the wheel--it's an activity that consumes some number of years of our
lives--and anything that is that much a part of our daily lives needs to be looked at. And
the second reason is that I think that our behavior on the freeways is, to some extent, a
mirror of our society's behavior in general. And especially today, on Yom Kippur, the Day
of Atonement, the day where we take stock of our actions and look to specific areas where
we need improvement, this is the perfect opportunity to look at our behavior on the road,
and see what lessons it has for us in other areas of life.
I'm sure that one of the root causes of this phenomenon is that there are just simply
too many cars for the amount of space available. We Americans--especially we
Angelinos--just like to have our space, and when we feel that our territory has been
invaded, it makes us nuts. But it's not this way everywhere. When I was in Seminary, there
was a stretch where I rode the New York subways almost every day for three years. People
would be crammed in there like sardines, and despite the subways' reputation for being a
rough place, I never saw any kind of rude behavior at all. I've spent time in Israel and
Mexico as well, where many more people take public transit than here, and people in those
places just seem to take being squished together with the rest of humanity as an
inescapable part of life. But out here in the wild west, we like our space and we like the
freedom that the automobile brings, and we can't stand getting hemmed in.
But I think there's an even more fundamental reason why road rage is on the rise. It
has to do with our basic attitude toward other people. A noted British psychologist, Dr.
David Lewis, suggests that "many people tend to 'dehumanize' other drivers because
they are surrounded by steel and glass, tur ning them into the enemy, the faceless foe who
is going to stop you getting to that meeting, who will put your job in jeopardy or stop
you getting to school to pick up the kids on time." I think he's hit upon something.
When we start seeing everyone else as the enemy, or obstacles to be overcome, objectives
to conquer, then we have lost our sense of humanity, and it's no wonder that this
phenomenon of road rage is on the rise. Ever notice how we say, "that car is turning
left now"? Cars don't turn. The driver inside executes the maneuver. And in other
areas of life? "My boss made we work overtime." Does your boss have a name? A
personality? Pressures of his or her own? Or is he or she just an object to you? See, when
we lose that sense of being human, that feeling of fellowship with others, then we're not
a civilization anymore; we're back in the caves.
One day a student asked anthropologist Margaret Mead for the earliest sign of
civilization in a given culture. He expected the answer to be a clay pot or perhaps a fish
hook or grinding stone. Her answer was "a healed femur--a healed legbone". Mead
explained that no healed femurs are found where the law of the jungle, the survival of the
fittest, reigns. A healed femur shows that someone cared. Someone had to do that injured
person's hunting and gathering until the leg healed. The evidence of compassion is the
first sign of civilization.
How much compassion do we have for each other on the San Diego Freeway? If we see a
motorist in need, do we help out? When we see that someone needs to get through, do we let
them in? Or are they just other cars out there, just objects to get around? How civilized
do we act out there?
And if we act like this on the freeway, how about in other areas of life? I find it
somewhat depressing to see how often, today, people are being reduced to statistics.
"40 people killed in a bomb blast in Israel," the announcer says. "Children
killed by a crazed man who wanted their mother's parking place. What a tragedy. Well, the
Dodgers are in town for a homestand, the weather will be sunny and warmer, have a pleasant
night." We forget that those 40 people all have husbands, wives, parents, children,
friends, whose lives will now be forever changed. We forget that the innocent child killed
in the parking lot shootout was the most precious thing in the world to her mother and
father, and that they have suffered a loss from which they will never completely recover.
We only seem to be interested when the victim or the perpetrator is a celebrity, so
fascinated and obsessed is our culture with the rich and the famous. We forget that behind
every one of those grim statistics that represent all the other people out there, there is
a story. We forget that the other driver over there is also late to pick up her kids, and
that this other driver over here is worried about an important presentation he has to
make. We forget all this because we are so used to seeing those other drivers as faceless,
lifeless enemies, planted in our way specifically to annoy us, that we forget that behind
that driver's tinted windshield there is a story.
On this Yom Kippur, this day of reckoning, it is time we stopped and asked ourselves:
have we lost our civility? Have we lost our humanity? Have we become the kind of society
that will put getting a lousy parking spot ahead of treating someone with common courtesy
and decency? Will we put getting that spot ahead of life itself??
We are all familiar with the Al Cheyt litany of wrongdoings that we find in the Yom
Kippur liturgy--you know, "al cheyt she'chatanu l'fanecha..." "for the sin
which we have committed before You by..." and a large number of ritual and ethical
wrongdoings are ennumerated. But when I first started hearing about the phenomenon of road
rage, I thought of this one that you might have noticed as well: al cheyt she'chatanu
l'fanecha b'hozek yad" "For the sin which we have committed before You byhozek
yad --literally, a 'strong or heavy hand'"--the sin of being heavy handed. For being
heavy handed in our driving and in life in general. For being heavy-footed on the
accelerator and beating the other person to that parking space. And outside the car, we
are all guilty of hozek yad at some time or another: for raising a hand in anger when
words would have worked; and then, for using harsh words when gentler ones might have done
the job even better.
I was reading recently that nine-tenths of Americans surveyed believe that lack of
civility today is a big problem. And I think that our behavior behind the wheel is
emblematic of our behavior in general. Where does it start? Listen to the words of Dr.
Leon James--a professor of psychology at the University of Hawaii, who has written
extensively on the phenomenon of road rage:
Road rage is acquired in childhood. Children are reared in a culture that endorses
irate expressions as part of the normal wear and tear of driving; once they enter a car,
children notice that the rules have changed; it's OK to be mad, very upset, out of
control, and to use bad language that is not normally allowed. By the time they get their
driver's license, they have learned road rage.
So it starts, like everything else, from an early age. And in addition to these kinds
of lessons of behavior that we don't even realize we are teaching, our children today grow
up in a culture that embraces violence as an acceptable means--in fact, the most
celebrated means--to settling conflicts. People kill each other routinely many times a day
on our television screens. Every movie has the obligatory high-speed chase. It must be
confusing for children: we tell them that we must be civil to each other and settle our
differences peacably, but the models that they see on television and in the movies and in
the culture around them, as well as the lessons that we often inadvertantly teach them,
give them a very different message. But it makes me wonder: if incivility is at least
something of a problem among our children, who come from educated, well-bred homes, the
problem of incivility in the general population must be enormous. And it all falls under
the general rubric of the sin of hozek yad -- the sin of heavy-handedness, of incivility,
of being overbearing. Not only with our cars, but with our words, our temperment, our lack
of patience, and--yes, even with our hands.
There's a story about a young woman's car that stalled at a stoplight. She tried to get
it started, but nothing. The light turned green and there she sat, angry and embarrassed,
holding up traffic. The car behind could have gone around, but instead the driver added to
her anger by laying on his horn. After another desperate attempt to get the car started,
she got out and walked back to the honker. The man rolled down his window in surprise.
"Tell you what," she said. You go start my car, and I'll sit here and honk the
horn for you."
Remember Dr. Lewis' observation that the problem starts with our seeing other drivers
as faceless enemies? Well, it seems that the way to begin breaking the cycle of road rage
(and it is a cycle--someone cuts you off, you want to cut them or someone else off) is to
reach out, as this woman in the story did, and try to bring some humor and humanity into
the situation. The Talmud teaches, "who is mighty? One who turns an enemy into a
friend." And the way to break the cycle of incivlity, and conquer the sin of hozek
yad is to embark on a program of improvement and self-awareness in our interpersonal
relationships; of turning potential enemies into friends.
Now, turning enemies into friends is a very broad and wide-sweeping problem; where to
start? We need a concrete plan of action; a program for improvement.
Dr. Leon James, the professor of psychology at the University of Hawaii, who goes by
the nickname "Dr. Driving" proposes some very concrete ideas for ways to break
the cycle of road rage. They are all excellent and commnon-sensical, but three in
particular jumped out at me because they echo the teachings of our tradition, especially
some of the beautiful ethical principles ennumerated in Pirke Avot, that wonderful work of
ethical teachings complied in the 2nd century. Pike Avot, by the way, will be the subject
of my adult education class that will start October 28, so this is a little bit of a
foretaste of some of the things we will be discussing in that class. And since I thought
that these three suggestions that he makes are have easy applications to everyday life, I
thought they would be worth looking at; in fact, we could use these to see driving on the
highway as something of a metaphor for how we act in general, and at least the beginnings
to some solutions for attacking the sin of being heavy handed.
Dr. Driving's first suggestion assumes that road rage is caused when one driver does
something to offend another driver like following too closely--sometimes on purpose and
sometimes not--and the other driver sees the act as throwing down the gauntlet; an
invitation to do battle. So he says, "we need to learn how to turn down a challenge.
If the car behind you is tailgating, you can act like a warrior or a peacemaker."
This reminded me immediately of Avot, chapter 1 verse 12: a teaching of Hillel:
"Hevvey mitalmidav shel Aharon--ohev shalom, v'rodef shalom." Be a disciple of
Aaron the High Priest: loving peace and pursuing peace." In driving and in life in
general, there are always two paths toward resolving any conflict: you can be confrontive,
or you can be a peacemaker. You can point a finger of blame, or extend the hand of
friendship. This is a terrific place to begin counteracting the sin of heavy-handedness.
Two boys in our Hebrew school got into a little bit of a tussle a couple of years ago.
"He started it," said one. "No, he started it," said the other. Each,
in turn, laid out detailed, plausible accounts of the incident that came to the conclusion
that each could not possibly have started the trouble. After each plead his case, they
looked expectantly at me to see in whose favor I would rule. I shocked them by saying,
"both of your stories are interesting and well reasoned. You both have promising
carreers as trial lawyers. But I'm really not the least bit interested in who started it.
I'm very interested, however, in what you're going to do now to make peace with each
other." I then made them retell their stories, but this time with the element of what
could have been done at each step along the way to avoid a conflict. When they each
realized that they had had several opportunities to be rodfey shalom-- pursuers of peace,
and they passed these opportunities up, I could see glimmers of recognition that there
were a number of ways toward a peaceful solution. They each offered an apology and ended
up shaking hands.
How many opportunities to be rodfei shalom-pursuers of peace-are there in our daily
lives that we pass up? Some people thrive on conflict. Sometimes a whole relationship is
defined by conflict, and ending the conflict means ending the psychological warfare that
has defined the relationship. Why does the Mishnah say that we must "pursue
peace?" Because someone has to initiate this; take that bold first step and extend
the hand of friendship and reconciliation. And that someone might as well be you. To stop
the spread of heavyhandedness, we must learn how to be rodfey shalom instead of road
warriors.
Dr. Driving next invites us to ask ourselves three questions: 1) how am I out of
control in my feelings and urges? 2) what are my faulty reasonings about other drivers?
and 3) what mistakes do I make in operating my vehicle?
These are wonderfully good questions to ask ourselves in general, off the road as well.
At what points in my dealings with people do I lose my temper? Somebody cuts you off and
you want to get even. Someone in the office blames you for a mistake that they made and
they try to pin it on you. You plot, you scheme, you may even obsess on how to get even.
Avot suggests: ayzehu gibor? hakovesh et yitzro. Who is truly strong? He who conquers his
impulses. So if we want to stop being heavy-handed with others, we must become
heavy-handed with our own impulses--our impulses to retaliate, and to blame others.
Secondly: what are my faulty reasonings about other drivers? Am I assuming the other
fellow is out to get me? Am I assuming that people are deliberately trying to make my life
difficult? Maybe that person tailgating me isn't trying to be a road warrior, maybe
they're rushing someone to the hospital! Oh, no question about it, either way you look at
it, he is driving dangerously and I'd better get out of his way. But the difference is,
I'm not going to be angry about it. Let him pass. Here is the teaching from Avot:
"judge every person according to the scales of merit." Give people the benefit
of the doubt. What difference does it really make what his reason for tailgating is? Why
assume that it's directed at you? Let him pass. When someone makes an error in judgment,
and it ends up embarrassing you, why assume it was deliberate? Why let the other person's
problems become your problems? Like a tailgater, give the benefit of the doubt and let it
pass. And finally: what mistakes do I make in operating my vehicle? Maybe I'm as much at
fault as the other guy! Turn the rearview mirror on yourself, and say, "perhaps this
is where the real problem lies." Before we go and blame and accuse other people,
maybe we should start with ourselves.
Is this not the primary message of Yom Kippur? The first line of the Avinu Malkenu
prayer: Avinu Malkeynu, hatanu l'fanecha--Our Father, Our King, we have sinned before you.
Today, with our many recitations of our wrongdoings, we are directed to look inward, and
ask, "what mistakes do I make when I operate this vehicle, the vehicle of my
life?" The heavy hand that we usually use against others, today, is made into a fist,
and we beat our own breasts with it.
Finally, Dr. James--Dr. Driving--says, "Drivers need to practice forgiveness and
helpfulness. We can become a community of drivers instead of road warriors." What
more important message could there be for us, on this day of Atonement--this day of
seeking forgiveness from our fellows and from God? And we are familiar with our
tradition's teaching that we cannot expect God's forgiveness for wrongs committed against
others until we seek them out, one by one, and beg their pardon. Apply this to
driving--and you'll be in fewer accidents. Apply this to life in general, and you'll live
longer. As Rabbi Nehemia in the Talmud puts it: "How did I attain longevity? I never
went to sleep with a grudge in my heart." Or as another wise man once said,
"forgive and forget. The first helps your soul. The second, your liver."
Earlier we mentioned that part of the root cause of road rage is that we see only
objects that are in our way when we drive. We need, desperately, to break through all that
metal and tinted glass and see human beings--with stories, shortcomings, and impulses all
their own. And when they--and all the other people in our lives that we have to drive,
live and work with--when they cut in front of us, or tailgate us, or blame us for their
mistakes, or forget our birthday, or do one of the thousand-and-one things that people do
that show that they are a little less than the divine, we need to remember these
teachings: be a rodef shalom, a pursuer of peace; subdue our impulse for retaliation; give
other people the benefit of the doubt; look inside first, before assigning blame to
everyone else; see other people as human beings to be reasoned with, not objects to be
confronted; and most of all, practice that divine and difficult art of forgiveness.
Road rage, a very concrete and commonplace example of the sin of hozek yad , the sin of
being heavy-handed, begins with the desire for revenge, and ends with the act of
forgiveness. As Rabbi Robert Gordis (OBM) writes in his book Leave a Little to God ,
"the sweetness of revenge is transitory; it quickly turns to gall and wormwood, to
bitterness in our hearts. Hard as forgiveness is to practice, it is harder still to live
without. The divine art of forgiveness will become easier to practice if we remember that
not only is this virtue possible, but it is real; that it is not only real, but absolutely
necessary. Life cannot go on without it, not only for the sinner, but also for the victim,
as well as for the societ y of which both are a part." The tailgater and tailgatee
must work together to see each other as human beings, and practice forgiveness.
"Al chet shechatanu lefanecha b'hozek yad--for the sin which we have committed
before You by being heavy handed..." On this Yom Kippur, let us resolve to go easier
on our accelerators and our tempers; let us resolve to see people, to see human drivers,
not just other cars; let us resolve to see p eople, not just a boss, not just an employee,
or classmate, or teacher. Let us resolve to be rodfei shalom, not road warriors. Let us
resolve to remove the sin of heavy-handedness from our lives. If we can do this, the road
of life will be a lot more pleasant and safer for all of us.
All the best, and shalom, Rabbi Steven
Subject: Skid Monster
You might want to check out the skid program that is available through the Professor of
Traffic Safety at Southern Connecticut State University. He retires this year and
continues to teach on a part time status. He is way involved with the production of the
"skid unit," his new book and video series. Check out the skid monster here
Thursday, Oct. 9th 1997
Subject: Road Rage Research
Dear Dr. Driver:
I am sending this e-mail as a request for more information on the research that has
been done in the study of road rage. I am a graduate student at the University of
Louisville and am interested in researching road rage for my Master's thesis. If it is
possible I would like to know where I could find more information on this topic. I would
appreciate any information that you could provide for me. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Melanie
Monday, Sept. 15th 1997
Subject: Research
Dear Dr. James,
I am an undergraduate psychology student at the University of Oklahoma. For one of my
courses I have been assigned to design and write up a research project, though not I (nor
anyone else) will actually be conducting the research that I design. I am interested in
the "road rage" phenomenon and while researching I came upon your web page. As
you are the expert on the subject I thought you might be able to offer me some guidence. I
noticed that my friend is not confrontational or aggressive in non-driving situations, but
when she gets behind the wheel she is apt to display aggressive behavior. For example, if
someone were to cut in line at the grocery store she would not confront the person or even
send a dirty look their way, but if someone were to cut her off while driving she is
liable to tailgate them or even make obscene gestures at them. It is almost like she is a
different person while she is driving. After observing her behavior I became interested in
conducting some aggression measures in driving and non-driving situations to see how they
correlate. I am aware that an aggression measure can be obtained utilizing the MMPI and, I
have read about other paper and pencil aggression measures that are available. A lab
situation my also work for this research. I do not have any research experience and I have
not taken any personality courses, consequently I am finding this research idea rather
challenging. I do not want to duplicate existing research, therefore I would like to know
if you or any of your students have conducted any similar studies. Also, if you have not
taken any specific measures of this sort, is it because it is not reasonable to do so? I
realize that extraneous variables will be a problem that I will need to deal with. I would
really appreciate any input or suggestions you could offer. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely, Brandy
Hi, Brandy, thanks for writing. In cases like your friend's Jekyll/Hyde transformation
behind the wheel: I think that self-witnessing is the best anti-dote. Have your friend
carry a tape recorder in the car, leave it turned on, and tell your friend to say whatever
she wants, in fact encourage her to speak her mind out loud. Then she needs to listen to
the tape and discuss it with you. See if she has a change of heart. Some details regarding
this approach can be found at the following addresses:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/459ss97/chrismur/report1.html
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/459s97/aldana/aldanahome.html
Good luck and let me know what happens!
Dr. Driving
Wednesday, Sept. 24th 1997
Subject: More Research
My name is Richard and my daughter is a 3rd year psychology student at the university
of Portsmouth in the U.K. As part of the final year she is required to write a report,
selected by herself, and for a reason unknown to me she has chosen road rage. We would
welcome any suggestions with regard to sources of information on the subject.
Richard, Please check on Dr. Driving's Page where there are lots of materials dealing
with Road Rage.
Dr. Driving
Friday, Sep 26th 1997
Subject: Thanks for the Research Help
hello - my name is craig -i am doing a research paper on road rage for an english class
- yore website has been of great help - thank you very much
craig
Tuesday, Sep 9th 1997
Subject: Senior Project
Hello.
My name is Tom and I am a senior at a University in PA. I am trying to do research on
road rage as my senior project. I am a little confused as the best diresction to go. The
questionnaire is excellent, but I need some studies that were already done to compare and
hopefully get some ideas. If you have any suggestions of where to look please email me.
Any help would be appreciated.
Sincerely, Thomas
Tuesday, Oct. 7th 1997
Subject: Senior Thesis Help
Dr. James,
I am an undergraduate at Princeton University currently beginning work on my senior
thesis. As a psychology major, I am working on road rage and aggressive driving. Although
currently in the initial stages of planning, I am hoping to conduct a survey of aggressive
driving and road rage. Through some of the articles I have reviewed so far, I have come
across your work. In looking at your "Dr. Driving" homepage, I see that you have
worked extensively on this topic.
As I mentioned earlier, I am interested in conducting a survey. I was wondering if you
had any instruments which you have used, or which you have not yet used that would be
helpful in the collection of data for my thesis. Also, any information you have which is
not readily available, but which you could lead me to would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you very much for your time and the information which your homepage has already
given me.
Chris
Monday, Oct. 13th 1997
Subject: Research Information
Greetings from texas!! I am doing some research on "road rage" and right now
I am looking for journal articles so that I may do a research project and possibly a
thesis on this topic. I am a graduate student at Abilene Christian University, and any
information you could send or anywhere you could tell me to look would be greatly
appreciated. Thanks in advance for your help.
Sincerely-- Jerod
Monday, Oct. 13th 1997
Subject: Info Help
hello,
I am writing a paper for my freshman composition class. It is a cause and effect theme
and I was wondering if you have anymore info on the causes of road rage.
Thank you
Michael
Monday, Oct. 13th 1997
Subject: Road Rage Survey Help
I am an undergraduate at Princeton University currently beginning work on my senior
thesis. As a psychology major, I am working on road rage and aggressive driving. Although
currently in the initial stages of planning, I am hoping to conduct a survey of aggressive
driving and road rage. Through some of the articles I have reviewed so far, I have come
across your work. In looking at your "Dr. Driving" homepage, I see that you have
worked extensively on this topic. As I mentioned earlier, I am interested in conducting a
survey. I was wondering if you had any instruments which you have used, or which you have
not yet used that would be helpful in the collection of data for my thesis. Also, any
information you have which is not readily available,but which you could lead me to would
be greatly appreciated.
Thank you very much for your time and the information which your homepage has already
given me.
Chris
Wednesday, Sept. 17th 1997
Subject: Free Information
Nicole wrote:
We are conducting a research project on how behavior affects driving habits. If you
have any free information on the topic aside from what is on the internet, could you
please e-mail it to this address. Thank you.
Here are several reports with a Bibliography to research papers not available on the
Internet, but available in libraries. Traffic Psychology Reports
Thank you for the information you e-mailed to me to help me with my research project.
It is greatly appreciated.
Nicole
Wednesday, Oct. 1st 1997
Subject: Road Rage Information
Dear "Dr. Driving",
I am completing my final class, Mental Health Law, for my J.D. this semester. I intend
to do a paper on "Road Rage and the Irresistable Impulse Test" and would very
much appreciate any insight you could provide as to the following:
1) Recent cases or litigation re: Road Rage;
2) Your perspective on aggressive driving relative to maladaptive behavior;
3) Any potential resources which would support my paper;
4) Anything else you feel may shed light on this topic.
I found your comments in the USA Weekend article "Road Rage" to be very
insightful and would very much appreciate any further insight you could share as I
endeavor in this topic. References on Web ITS (Intelligent Transportation Systems).
In addition to those below, the USDOT, FHWA, NHTSA, and OTA web pages are probably
worth a look. USDOT's website has a pretty good search engine, once you get into
specifics, although there are numerous "dead" links. Like most .gov sites,
"recency" tends to be very spotty--many locations are updated only infrequently,
and the concept of doing daily updates has not penetrated most .gov site
"webmasters." USDOT people who put their e-mail addresses on the web tend to be
real users, in my experience, so you may find folks willing to reply to your e-queries.
[Some .gov agencies do not do real e-mail with the public (e.g., DOJ, FBI)]
Welcome to the U.S. DOT's ITS Web Site Intelligent Transportation Systems offer the
next major leap forward in improving the safety, convenience, and productivity of our
personal and commercial travel - and U.S. DOT is helping to lead the way toward making ITS
a reality for everyone.
The ITS Reading Room is a repository for ITS publications, including reports,
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ITS Reading Room - ITS Publications and Reports, Joint Program Office Weekly ITS
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With such a massive public/private buildup under way, there is a need for a single,
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ITS America (formerly IVHS AMERICA) is the only Congressionally-mandated, national public/
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research findings.
ITS World Magazine-Your single best source of ITS information
Welcome to ITS World magazine and our Web site, the Navigator -- two invaluable tools
to anyone who wants to keep up with the rapidly changing and expanding field of
intelligent transportation systems.
Some traffic psychology students react to ITS: Is Dr.Stech proposing a system of
"hands-off" driving? For instance, having an underground system that guides your
car. It seems to me like this is the proposal and one that I have wondered about. It would
certainly keep traffic moving a steadier rate if everyone were commanded to move at the
same time, but of course there would be countless other problems as well. I think that it
is important to address the affective conditions that are bound to arise from such an
undertaking. People would be giving up control of their vehicle and becoming passive
participants to a great extent. This is going to be a major stumbling block for many
people. It's good that potential designers of this type of system are investigating ways
of overcoming such problems, it will be interesting to see where the future highways will
lead us! Wow, "No hands driving", what a concept. Imagine the possibilities of
that. Some of the advantages would be having more time to do other things while commuting.
You could talk to the person next to you, shave, talk on the phone, do work, and read.
No-hands driving could also mean less accidents. Does no-hands driving mean that people
w/o their licenses can sit behind the driver seat, assuming that the steering wheel is
still there for emergencies. So what if the system entirely fails? All these unlicensed
drivers would be stuck? Or would they be forced to drive, with no prior experience of
driving? As the scientist said, how about learned helplessness? We dont need to drive
anymore, so one less thing to learn. But, if a emergency situation forces us to drive, how
can we? It's already forgotten.
Subject: Embarrassing Moments
Dear Dr. Driving:
One time when I was trying to make a parallel parking, there were cars waiting behind
me, because I was blocking their ways. So I tried my biggest effort to achieve the
parking, but it was so hard to park properly since I was a fresh driver then. My action
was getting faster and faster in a very confusing way that I didn't even know which way I
was turning. All I worried about was there were people behind me waiting and watching. I
started sweating and tried even harder, but I got more nervous and more impatient at
myself. I felt those drivers were thinking that I was stupid or something since I couldn't
park. Out of frustration and embarrassment, I ended up giving up the parking and left.
OK, feeling embarrassed or pressured by other drivers happens to many of us, even
experienced drivers. It's natural since we share the road with others on a competitive
basis. Yesterday for example, I was driving up a hill in the left lane behind a row of
cars. The right hand lane looked like it was going faster, so I switched over just before
a curve. A few seconds later I see a slow moving heavy vehicle in the right lane. Now I
was stuck behind this truck for a minute or two. During this time cars were passing me in
the left lane and I felt foolish and embarrassed for being the one who got stuck behind
the truck! However, I quickly recovered and was able to laugh at myself. In the past I
would have been fuming for some time and probably would have tried to squeeze into the
left lane in a risky way instead of waiting another minute or two.
I would advise you to practice parking where it's safe so that you can get rid of this
feeling of learned helplessness.
Subject: Impatience
Dear Dr. Driving:
I am definitely an impatient driver and other cars do get in my way! Take this morning
for example, I was running late for school and some other driver had the audacity to slow
down in front of me to try to get in behind a car to our right. There was a clear path in
front of the car to the right, so the car in front of me should have sped up to pass not
slow down. How dare they hinder my progress?!
Subject: Emotions
Dear Dr. Driving:
Emotions can affect my function as a driver. One time when I was in an upset state of
mind, there was this car driving just a bit slow in front of me. I became very impatient
and began to talk and to yell at that driver in my car. I realized when I am upset, I tend
to drive more viciously. If I am in a happy mood, I will less likely to get upset, but to
take my time and to relax while I drive. Look at this artilce on methods of dealing with
feelings of aggression
Subject: Old Drivers
Dear Dr. Driving:
When I drove around this semester, I really noticed that there were a lot of aging
drivers on the road. I sometimes get so upset, because they tend to go into the left lane
of the freeway and would be going only 45mph max, which in turns holds up the traffic.
They also brake a lot. If there is a traffic light ahead that just turned yellow, they
would tend to slow down and stop. This is okay with me. But when they start looking around
and start fussing around with their handbags when the light turns green, they take about
30 seconds before it sinks in for them to realize the light turned green. This really
irritates me!
So there we have it -- the false idea that expressing your anger is to be accepted
since it's not immature and since the other driver is in the wrong. However, feeling anger
at another driver is a form of behavior. Feeling is behaving, even though not the same as
thinking (which is also behaving) or acting (which is also behaving). So feeling anger is
behaving and it is the result of an aggressive, combative, coercive attitude (motivation,
morality, conscience, social responsibility, etc.). This aggressive attitude towards
others always influences your thoughts and your actions -- one way or another. It's bad
for your mind, it's bad for the atmosphere on the road.
To give it up is mature and healthy and good. But it takes love or compassion for the
other drivers. We all have this love -- let it come out, let it come out...
Subject: The Evil Part
Dear Dr. Driving:
What really irritates me is when people decide to cut me off on the freeway, and then,
just like that, they decide to slow down to about 5 miles below the speed limit! What is a
girl to do when she's on her way to work, in a mad rush because she's already 5 minutes
late?!!!!!! Well, this is where the evil part comes in.
Jake
Hi Jake,
Being irritated in traffic is a symptom telling you that you're engaging in fantasizing
about the intentions of other drivers. If you think about it, it's not really possible for
you to know what another driver is thinking, and vice-versa. Suppose you're following
someone too close because you're distracted and not paying attention to your following
distance. The driver ahead of you might think that you're tailgating to put on the
pressure, and feel irritated.
You're in a similar position when you feel irritated because you imagine that the
driver who cut in, slowed down in order to bother you.
Bottom line:
You don't know why the driver did it, and you have a choice in how to handle the
situation. Your current way of handling it leaves you feeling bad in several ways. You'll
feel a lot better when these routine problems come up in driving if you develop more
positive reactions. You can give the driver the benefit of the doubt and be lenient by
giving alternate reasons to yourself, for example,
* "The driver needed to get in and couldn't do it another way."
* " After cutting in, the driver was forced to slow down because of the car
ahead."
* "The driver wasn't paying attention, that happens to me too, so I'll be
lenient."
* "The driver feels pressured to do that for some reason I don't know, so I'll
help that driver be safe by giving enough room to cut in."
See Zone 8 -- Wisdom
I sit in my car, steaming. Of course, that means I am also speeding up and tailgating
this idiot who has just cut me off. I look for an opening on the next lane, get in, and of
course there is like a two or three car distance between that car and the one in front.
So, instead of being a compassionate and humane driver and go in about a car distance
away, I cut in with just enough room for me to fit in front of that car.
When you see another driver as "an idiot," you're experiencing a crisis of
morality, and you're bent on retaliation. This will make you unhappy and unsafe. To stay
on the high road, you can practice being forgiving, and that will change your feelings
from negative to positive.
See Zone 7 -- Altruism
Why I do this.....I really don't know. I just don't understand why people who know they
will be driving slowly decide to upset traffic and back it up. They should designate one
lane with "Slow drivers here."
You can change your driving style from competitive to cooperative if you have the
desire to be kind to others. See
Zone 9 -- Kindness
I'm one of those sweet little girls that do not utter any profanities to anyone unless
they make me really upset, and even then, I try to control myself. But once in the car, my
personality is completely different! I even surprise myself sometimes. In the heat of the
moment, I would beep my horn, shout out various profanities (if you've heard of it, I've
said it!) and even give that middle finger of mine an exercise! How's that for evil?!!!!
Cutting people off is only one of the things I've done..... .........I've boxed people in,
I've gone slowly on purpose because someone tailgates me. And when they least expect it, I
brake......hard. My attitude was, "If they bang me, it's their fault! They pay for
the damages!" But I know this isn't the way to do it! Help Me!
Do you suffer from multiple personality syndrome as a driver? Click here, then click
Back. Do you tolerate a Jekyll/Hyde switch when you enter your car? You can discover that
this is only a comic book role you've unthinkingly taken on. You can free yourself, if you
want. Begin by developing the skill of forgiving other drivers in
Zone 7 -- Altruism which
will lead you to Zone 8 -- Wisdom. Developing these emotional skills allows you to reclaim
your mental health and freedom.
Subject: Braking
Dear Dr. Driving:
When I'm driving to work in the commuter lane and someone has been tailgating me for
miles and going nuts behind me, I first slow down just a few mph. After that gets them in
a frenzied state, I get down to business. There is nothing more gratifying at this point
than slamming on my brakes just long enough to see their mouth drop open in amazement but
short enough so that they don't really come close to hitting me. Needless to say, most
people will slow down and stop tailgating me at that point. I savor my victory quite
deliciously. I love putting fear into their hearts!
Warning!! You're savoring revenge. You have an antagonistic habit that you'll want to
get rid of before it damages your morality, your rationality, and your spirituality.
Remember, what goes around, comes around. This means that when you treat others badly,
it's more likely that others will treat you badly. More important, your inner life suffers
because you're caught in a dominance game that spills over to how you behave outside the
car, influencing your relationships with others. Start with Zone 4 -- Emotional
Self-control and go on to developing good Judgment -- Zone 5. These two abilities will
lead you to what you surely long for: the relief of relaxed driving and Calmness -- Zone
6.
Wednesday, Sept.10th 1997
Subject: Thank You!
I have enjoyed reading your information. Thank you for the service. It will be very
benefical to me.
Nina
Friday, Sept. 12th 1997
Subject: No Distractions
You better stay in Aloha Land. We don't need another bleeding heart in the States. We
have enough incompetent, inconsiderate, selfish drivers already on the road. Aggressive
driving is the direct result of these morons who cause this phenomenon. Who the hell are
these arrogant incompetents who feel they have the right to hold up the passage of the
majority. Do you think causing people to pass on the right when the left lane 'hog' has
traffic tied up, is appropriate driving tactics? These tapioca heads should be given
driving lessons not encouragement by psychologists' who are singling out aggressive
drivers. There wouldn't be aggressive drivers if everyone would enter their vehicle with
the purpose of driving to a destination without eating lunch, having a picnic, picking
their nose, doing cosmetic beauty treatments, helping the damn dog look out the window,
restraining the kids in the back seat, and the numerous 'other' distractions associated
with 'driving the family car.' Educate and enlighten the selfish drivers to be respectful
of the 'right of passage' of other drivers. THAT will reduce the frustrations on the
roadway(s) and make for a homogenized flow. Your point of view is a paradox. Enjoy the
island circle. You won't enjoy I-95.
Keep on Truckin'
Wednesday, Sept. 17th 1997
Subject: Futures Magazine Article
Dear Dr. Driving:
I'm a freelance writer doing an assigned article on road rage for Futures, a magazine
published by Scholastic Inc. that is distributed to high school juniors and seniors. I
have found the material on your web site to be very helpful and have seen you quoted in
many articles during my research. I would like to request a specific quote from you to use
in my article. I am looking for a quote that dramatically describes how big a problem road
rage has become/is becoming in the U.S. If there is something you can say that will help
make it particularly relevant to kids in our audience, that would be great.
Please transmit this Open Letter to your readers:
Dear young persons,
By the time most adolescents begin their career as drivers, they have experienced years
of road rage or aggressive driving, as passengers in their parents' car and with other
drivers. Add to this the many portrayals of "bad driving" scenes on TV and you
can see how ingrained this habit becomes. Road rage or aggressive driving is a cultural
habit we acquire subconsciously and automatically as we grow up. Most drivers have road
rage though it may not show in the open. Road rage is a feeling of rebellion and anger
against others on the road or against road restrictions and regulations. Aggressive
driving is a type of road rage which is expressed by tailgating, lane hopping, passing
dangerously, failure to yield or signal, racing the engine, playing loud music, not
wearing seat belts, scaring your passengers with risky behavior, and yelling or making
insulting gestures. These are angry responses to other drivers who seem to be in your way.
According to government officials, aggressive driving is now the Number 1 problem in
transportation today. Speeding dangerously and racing are also types of road rage, being
angry responses to regulations that forbid these activities. Drinking and driving is a
type of road rage too, showing an angry rebellion against authority and a raging disregard
of the well being of other drivers and pedestrians who are inju |